When I was younger, I was told that relationships were taboo and that I wasn't allowed to think about being in one. Back in grade school, the boys used to stand apart from the girls, too scared to talk to them because they had "cooties," with the girls giggling in another corner.
Relationships are overrated: how being single allowed me to discover myself
When you're single, it can sometimes feel like everyone is giving you tips on how to not be single. This advice for single people while often I think well-intentioned, can come off patronizing and be downright rude about people's lives and their values.
Like OK, first of all, not everyone even wants a relationship. That's these advice-giver's first mistake: they need to stop assuming everyone wants to be partnered up. And beyond that, they need to stop assuming that their advice is good — even if they're currently in a relationship!
In addition to being condescending, the following pieces of common advice can feel impersonal to the Married ebony bbw hookup on the receiving end. Instead of offering meaningless phrases of faux inspiration, if you're giving advice, tailor it specifically to the person to whom you're speaking.
It will instead feel authentic and genuine, as opposed to empty words, and probably mean more to the person you're probably trying to help. So here are the pieces of advice single people can get that are overrated, and, IMO, doesn't help at all.
What a bunch of crap. Why do people insist on telling singles that they're not worthy of love unless they love themselves?
Up to our newsletter
This line of thought stigmatizes those with mental illness even more, and makes those with deep insecurities feel even worse about themselves. Some people are on the path to self-love much longer than others, and it doesn't Discreet Married Dating responses fuck girl them any less deserving of a relationship. Let's instead encourage people to love themselves, but not imply that not doing so makes you somehow ineligible for a relationship.
I'm all for people trying new activities and seeking out hobbies that they enjoy and maybe meeting someone coincidentally through that, which is often what people mean when they offer this advice. Like, you'll meet someone doing something you enjoy, so don't worry! But trying to dissuade single people from seeking a relationship can seem pretty counter-intuitive.
If someone asks you to set them upgoes on dating apps, or attends single's events to meet someone, don't knock down their effort in finding a relationship to make it seem like it's all for nothing. Yes, encouraging people to focus on living Fuck singles High Level iowa best lives is great.
Do you think being single is underrated? and being in a relationship is overrated?
But let's not pretend that love is always something that happens to you — sometimes, you gotta chase it. This isn't just annoying: it's dangerous.
By telling people they have to endure harmful, toxic, or abusive relationships to be "appreciative" of a good relationship, you're encouraging them to stay in relationships that can be mega unhealthy. Instead, if you see someone struggling, ask Hamtramck MI housewives personals they need help.
This one grinds my gears because what if someone just isn't into having a partner? Or what if the person who's on the receiving end of this advice is single by choice for another reason, like trying to juggle school work, extracurriculars, and an internship? Or they're balancing a full time job with a side hustle Woman looking for sex in Billings trying to make time for friends?
Relationships don't always fit into the equation at different times in our lives. So saying something pitying like the above phrase is condescending, and assumes far too much off the bat.
Just because someone isn't in a relationship, it doesn't mean that that person is seeking one out at the moment. So if you're ever thinking of offering someone the above tidbits of advice, just sit back for a second before you make assumptions about their love life.
While your friend will probably understand you're coming from a good intention with your words, you're still better off not insulting them in the first Chiselhampton male seeking a real friend. By Elana Rubin.
You have to love yourself first. You'll find love when you least expect it. You have to go through the bad to appreciate the good.